You may be one, the other, or both, depending on who you’re asking. But, what about when you ask yourself?
When I tell people I’m a self-published author, I get:
- Oh, so self published. So, not like a real author.
- Omg that’s great! I can’t believe you’re brave enough to do that.
When I tell people I’m back in college, I get:
- In your thirties?
- Nice. It’s never too late to go back. What’s your major?
When I tell people I’m not married (and no kids), I get:
- Don’t worry, it will happen someday.
- I bet that’s nice too. Marriage and kids are not for everyone.
On and on, you can do that with any aspect of my life, and I’ll either get a sad “aww” or a “way to go!”
Then how do I measure whether I’m failing or succeeding?
By not listening to any of that, and instead listening to what’s inside.
Yep, cheesy as that sounds. I cannot measure my life against other people’s opinions, because they range from good to bad. To some, I’m living the dream. To others, omg I’m not a bestselling author who is married and has 3 wonderful children and, and, and…
So, here’s my answer:
I felt like a failure, for a long time. I was an alcoholic in my 20’s, making terrible choices, and going nowhere in life. I never had a good relationship (when I managed to even have one). I was just some party girl planning my life around hangovers.
I wanted to change that.
I am sober now. I have hobbies, a dog, and a partner whom I love very much. I’m back at school, working my butt off for that high GPA. I managed to stick with it not for one, but two novels, which I published and sent out to the world. I am currently working on two more.
My life feels successful where I am right now. I may not be where others are, but for a lot of things, I don’t want to follow anyone’s footsteps. Marriage sounds nice. Kids? Not so much 😝 Being a bestselling author sounds amazing, so I am working hard to improve my writing (and that is a success, in and of itself, even if it takes time).
Am I inflating my own life? Nope. I just know what I’ve done before and what I’m doing now. I also know that this is my life, and my time, and I need to live the life that feels right to me.
If you’re feeling like a failure right now (and maybe doing some of the same self-destructive crap I did in my 20’s), change. Do things differently. But if you’re already working towards your dreams and living your life, then my friend, you are already a success!
🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜